Suburban Turmoil - Latest Comments in Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

suburbanturmoil — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 14:08:42 -0000

Do you do anything wrong? Admitting your faults is being real, whatever your faults may be. I'm sure they're not the same as mine, but I'm betting you've got a few too, regardless of how good you look when you leave the house.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Carolyn Brundage — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 13:29:52 -0000

Being real is clearly essential.

But what if my real never includes smoking an occassional cigarrette or hiding in the closet when the kids fight? Because, frankly, I don't want lung cancer or injured children. Hell, I even try to foster a sense of freindship among my two boys at every turn. And I occassionally leave the house looking just awful but I try not to, because that affects how I feel about me. Yup, the real me really cares about how I look.

Real mothers come in all shapes and sizes, some wear couture and some wear 2nd hand clothes and that just makes us all different, not less authentic.

I think there are some excelent points in this post; that said I disagree with the picture being conveyed of what make a "real mom"

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Diane — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:02:57 -0000

Love this article!!

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Liz Gumbinner — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 11:15:05 -0000

I know I sound like a broken record but the skillful parenting bloggers (ok, mommybloggers) remain powerful, influential, smart. They get the best opportunities from the BlogHer network, they participate in Momversation, they rake in bucks through Federated Media, they write newspaper columns (!!) and occasionally find themselves on Oprah.

And then there are review bloggers. They have started blogs with the purpose of making money, not to compete with you or me or the Parent magazines. They're going to get business press because they have corporate backers. It's a whole different world. It's indie rock versus prefab pop. It's Charlie Kaufman versus whoever wrote Firehouse Dog.

The best we can do is try and share those authentic experiences and that great writing as much as we can. I don't care if there are crappy review bloggers out there (although I do remain confounded as to why any brand wants a review from someone who doesn't know how to use an apostrophe or, generally, a paragraph return and seems to LOOOOVE every product equally). What I do want is for moms who want to blog to know there's satisfaction in blogging that has nothing to do with whether or not you've been invited on a cereal company factory tour.

Let's just say you've got more than 100 comments here. And you didn't need to offer a giveaway to get them.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Jo Coiner Burzycki — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:06:16 -0000

I started blogging after being diagnosed with cancer. I had a medical blog but got tired of my life being nothing but doctors so I started my other blog, Life With Heathens. I enjoyed just being myself but eventually I fell under the pressure of wanting to be a "mommy blogger" and wanting to be popular. Eventually that led to companies wanting me to do reviews and it all became such a damn hassle that I no longer enjoyed blogging.

In fact I pretty much quit that shit last year because it just wasn't worth it anymore and only recently started back up.

Personally these days I think mommyblogging is becoming more a joke than a radical act. I think a very large number of blogs out there only want to be the next big thing and the ones that Honda gives cars to next (example not sure if they do).

Life is too short to care more about what you can get from a company than fun. I may not want to read about every time someone's kid takes a shit but at the same time I DO want to read other moms saying their house looks like hell, the kids are needing a foot in the ass (figuratively), and the husband needs shipped to Hong Kong in a pickle barrel every so often.

I personally want REAL mom bloggers who just talk about the funny and sometimes fucked up crap their family does you know? THAT to me is radical and real and I miss that.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Sib — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 13:42:56 -0000

Typo: Should have been "relate-able" not "rateable" in the 3rd paragraph above (that darn spell checker)...

And Postscript: Ok, hate me for admitting this - but after about 3 days with blogher - I just stopped participating, and for this exact reason:

"...I miss the feeling that we were making a difference .... I miss the time when BlogHer was less about aggressive self-promotion and connecting with marketers, and more about meeting online friends in person. ..."

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Sib — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 13:26:32 -0000

Lindsay... apologies in advance for the length of this comment but found your post via another blog ... and loudly APPLAUDING you for it. FINALLY! Someone SAYS IT. Thank you, thank you.

RE: "I'm seeing fewer authentic experiences out there and less incentive than ever before to share them. Clearly, I'm all for making money off of our blogs if we can.... But must we lose our radically real voices in the process?"

My honest stance on that question is: NO. While I definitely acknowledge the pressure MANY passionate bloggers feel in doing just this (ie: self censoring) for "advertiser appeal" ... I still say "no" to losing one's own voice.. It also seems to me that appeasing for advertising sake creates ultimately - the exact opposite effect intended. For example: writers I once visited precisely for their authenticity - I no longer do because they are no longer "authentic", fun or engaging.... most importantly - they are no longer rateable.

So in conversion terms for the advertiser this translates as: "I don't know what you are selling because: Your advertisements are not reaching me and others like me that don't read canned, choreographed, contrived marketing material peddled under the SEO friendly term of mom blogger or otherwise because the venue is predictable, boring and uninteresting."

That about sums it up. :)))) And what you said here nails it:

"Today, if a mom blogger wants online authority... She'd do well to make sure every hair is in place (courtesy of her stylist), her flab is firmly in check (thanks to EA SPORTS Active), and she has a media kit handy, to send out to potential sponsors......... After all, why would an advertiser want a mother who admits on her blog to smoking the occasional cigarette and hiding in the closet sometimes when her kids won't stop fighting, when it can now have a mom who only posts pictures of herself smiling and perfectly made up, and who writes posts doling out plucky advice on everything from proper mascara application to what to wear to upcoming blog conferences..."

I printed this and am hanging it on my pegboard here. It's real - it's relevant - and it's freaking true. It's encouraging to know I'm not alone in observing the same trends... This post and all the insightful thoughts shared by the commentators here really just made my day.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

kyranp — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:48:50 -0000

Nothing to add. Just admiration for the deep-thinking community you continue to attract and cultivate. xo

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

suburbanturmoil — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 14:22:15 -0000

I want to agree that people can write what they want. And I do, when they're sharing their life experiences or feelings.

But when they call themselves "influencers" and try to convince others that they represent mom bloggers and the mom blogging community, well, then it affects me, whether I like it or not. And so at that point, I have to care about what they're presenting on their blogs, and how they're presenting it.

And I think that since that's happening more and more, dialogue about the issue becomes important- and inevitable.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Chrissy P — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:33:36 -0000

Interesting...I attended a blogging conference this spring that left me inspired and discouraged, in equal measure. I'm absolutely a mommyblogger who has been left behind. Of course, I take responsibility for a large part of that, having tempered my voice since job searching (and discovering that my boss reads my blog). But, I don't measure up to advertising standards, nor can I afford to custom design my site. I'm still writing, for the reasons that caused me to start; capturing my mommy moments in "real time". Any friends I make around the blogospere are icing on the cake.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

babsalaba — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:34:41 -0000

Y'know, I never really noticed this carpetbagging mommy-blogger phenomenon until recently, mostly because I'd had a small group of blogs I read, none of which were terribly big. I got slapped in the face with it via Twitter of all places in the contest/giveaway RT-frenzy.

I admit that I fell for it at first, and for about two weeks, I shamelessly retweeted and linked and emailed proof of links for extra contest entries, and for what? Some book I didn't know I'd needed until I read some 140 character Tweet about a giveaway?

It was then that I noticed just how many of these so-called "mommy-blogs" sponsored contests and giveaways. Just how many of those "readers" were stopping by for the chance to snag something free? It's pretty distasteful. I felt dirty even taking part in it, to be honest. I didn't care what these women blogged about, I felt the lust for free stuff bloom in my breast. Gimme-gimme-gimme. Ugh. I would hate to have people swooping in on my blog, talons outstretched for swag.

Sure, apologists may pull the standard "Jealous, much?" but I'd rather have my loyal following and daily hits in the dozens and few, sometimes even no comments, if it means I still write what I want to write, and write from the heart.

What is this shiny-faced, bullshit presentation of motherhood designed to attract advertisers anyway? It's inauthentic at best, and prostitution at worst.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Jerri Ann — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:29:02 -0000

I have every concotion under the sun. I have paid blogs that someone else handles that has no product push except for that mess of ads in the sidebar which is how I'm paid but I don't have to bother to handle............

I have blogs where I write celebrity junk and throw in paid ads by a couple of networks...and other than that, they make me money and otherwise they never get a look.

And, then I have blogs of niche' with no ads, no product placement but just for a unique group, for instance, my son's school district. No ads, on product push, but very boring if you don't have a kid in school with mine.

And, then, I have my mommy blog. It does have a review page and I have to throw a push for a product in the main blog every know and again, like when a company shell's out $7K for me to go t a conference....or I have done a site upgrade and re-design and can't upload or something stupid..............but I do my best to keep it all about the family, the good the bad the ugly. I try to reach my inner self that started writing in 2001 on iparenting for a whopping $25 for 3 posts a week for a year............yea that's some big money uh?

So, yea I think mommy blogging is still a radical act.......and that would be that pure mommy blogging is as hard now as it was back then because............people are asking you how you monetize, what products you've received? And to say, oh I don't, I just blog for me..........yea that's hard to do. And I am not saying that I am some super radical woman because I do blog for the money in so many ways.........but I try to hang on to my mommy blog too but even it has been infringed upon every now again........

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Arianne Segerman — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:08:12 -0000

I hear you, and while I agree that she may lost marketing "influence",
I don't think she'd lose readership. Maybe I'm being pollyanna about
it, but I think the readership sticks around b/c they like the writing.

And I also agree that the system is flawed, but to me it's sorta like
bemoaning that life is hard and people aren't always honest (which I
do, often). Those things suck, but will always be true - it is what
it is. I personally don't think we can change the way business is
(ruthless and uncaring) so to me it's either figure out how we can
play their (i.e. the biz people's) game without crossing the line, do
what feels right to us each individually, and let the chips fall where
they may. I don't think there's anything wrong with women who write
well getting compensated for their work in authentic ways, but I get
twitchy when I worry about things I can't control. I prefer to take
control of what I can, and then go "ah HA! you didn't beat me you
miserable system. suckit."

Great discussion...

-Arianne

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Andrea @ MommySnacks.net — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 20:17:34 -0000

Either I'm not reading these blogs you are referring to or I am one of them and am completely clueless!!

People can write what they want, when they want, why they want. If PR likes it, that's cool. If no one likes it, that's fine. If me - as the blog author - likes it, that's what matters. It's my passion, my voice, my reputation. Luckily for me, my readers and PR appreciate what I share.

I don't really care how someone else markets their blog, or writes content to get comments. There isn't a rule book on blogging. It sounds like it has changed *radically* since 2005. I'm guessing it will change a lot more by 2010!

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

suburbanturmoil — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:16:42 -0000

The "focus on bigger bloggers" is exactly what I'm talking about. Like most blog surfers, I tend to read bloggers that are linked to on other websites. Many of the mom bloggers getting attention lately have been the ones who are marketing darlings, not necessarily the ones with the compelling content.

And for the readers out there, that sucks. How are they supposed to even FIND the off-the-radar authentic bloggers you're talking about?

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Kelli Oliver George — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:10:10 -0000

"I'm seeing fewer authentic experiences out there and less incentive than ever before to share them. "

Eh. I am inclined to disagree with this - there are loads of authentic voices out there. They are just not getting read because the focus tends to be on the bigger bloggers. And truthfully, one of the authentic bloggers I am thinking of specifically does not even want a large audience because of all the negative aspects that can come along with it - trolls, controversy, hate mail. I don't blame her, but damn - she writes good stuff and loves being a mother. Unapologetically.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Belle — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 18:55:59 -0000

Despite being a mom, I never was really a part of the mommyblogging community simply because my kids are older, and it has been a bit of a challenge finding moms of teenagers who also blog. I think that's how this whole mommyblogging phenomenon managed to pretty much pass me by. But it really is a shame that there are apparently so many wonderful writers who are off the radar now.

Just surfed in via Zoot, but I've popped in here a time or two on my own :)

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

PoppyBuxom — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:12:18 -0000

So is that why I'm out of it? No ads and no sponsorships?

I thought I was just clueless. ;-)

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

PoppyBuxom — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:03:42 -0000

HA! I remember when that happened! It was back in the Stone Age (i.e., 2007).

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Emily from Mommin' It Up — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:15:37 -0000

"But must we lose our radically real voices in the process? "

Of course not.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

Tere — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 23:14:53 -0000

A someone who began blogging anonymously in 2000 and in her current, non-anonymous incarnation in 2006, I've never been in it for money or *fame*, and I have attained neither. And I'm very o.k. with that.

Sometimes, I think we need to ask ourselves, "why I am doing this? why did I start in the first place?" I would say many of us started blogging just to share our lives, to connect, to keep a record, to become better writers, etc. Those all were my reasons, anyway.

I think the *power* we've been declared to have, as well as the changing face of advertising and PR, and the way we play into that, and how the whole process has been developing, has indeed hurt whatever purer, fresher, more unique thing we were just a few years ago.

At this point, all this noise about the *power* of mommy bloggers has become a cacophony, and frankly, I think the whole thing is a big mess now. I see blogs that are nothing but slick, money-making gimmicks disguised at mom blogs pop up left and right, but the content is crap. And other blogs that were once great reads that have lost their voice (or become caricatures of female stereotypes) as they've attained more sponsors/fame/recognition.

And I can't help but feel that the more a blog becomes about sponsored content or ads or reviews (and by the way, I participate in BlogHer and do reviews from time to time, if it's a product I really like), the less original and compelling it becomes. I've stopped reading many blogs because the spark is gone.

In the middle of this, I see more bloggers trying too hard and falling into and feeding oversimplified stereotypes: Stepford, bitchy, melodramatic, or faux-"tell it like it is." This, I have to say, is the most grating aspect of the mom blogger phenomena for me.

I remain resistant to joining networks and putting ads on my site and doing sponsored posts, reviews, etc. I still blog to become a better writer, to share my life, to keep a record. I don't knock anyone trying to make money from blogging (and succeeding), but for me, it's not worth it. I don't have the time or energy (or interest) required to really monetize my blog (and all that goes with it), and if that means missing out on being a "top mommy blogger", so be it.

In the end, it still boils down to content for me. I want to write something I can be proud of and is uniquely me. And I want to read the same. I think the good news in all this and that there are still some great voices out there, and that many of the companies that work with blogs to advertise and such really do want to support us and find ways for everyone to win.

I think, like with any trend, the dust will settle and a new norm will be established. This is, at the very least, a very interesting ride.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

suburbanturmoil — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:42:55 -0000

Ha ha. I'm living this right now. My parents are coming on Friday and let's just say it's summer and I haven't done any quality deep cleaning in a LONG, LONG time.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

suburbanturmoil — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:41:19 -0000

Honestly, to me, the sessions are the least interesting part of the conference (unless Penelope Trunk is ripping me a new one, I mean). I don't know that I'll even go to any sessions the second day- I'm not seeing much there I'm excited about.

The parties are FUN. Seeing everyone is FUN. It's overwhelming at times, but um, overwhelming is my thing so I'm into it. Some people hate the social craziness of it, though. Come and find me, okay? :)

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

suburbanturmoil — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:35:59 -0000

The sad truth is that a mom blogger can stay independent and say no to ads and no to sponsorships and no to free trips and no to products-- and she will lose influence in the blogosphere as a result, and she will also lose readership and she will suddenly find herself "out of the loop." I know you've been around long enough to see that happen, too.

That's where this system is flawed. And I don't know how to fix it.

Re: Why Mommy Blogging is No Longer a Radical Act

suburbanturmoil — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:31:27 -0000

Ha ha ha! I haven't thought about the stinky cheese in a while! Kimberly won't be there this year, so alas, no husbands will be sending special stinky cheeses to the conference!